The reason there's so much sex in fashion adverts . . .

Because it's likely your fashion decisions have, at least once, been dictated by the opportunity of having sex. But Tom Ford sees double entendres where there is hardly an entendre

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• • Hadley Freeman
  • guardian.co.uk, Sunday 17 April 2011 21.00 BST
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Cartoonish fashion sex, Tom Ford-style.

Why is so much fashion advertising so pornographic? I thought they were supposed to be selling clothes, not sex.

Bill, by email

But Bill – clothes are sex. Even if you don't have orgasms over stilettos, à la Carrie Bradshaw, then it's likely that at some point your clothing choices have been dictated by the possibility of having sex. But not always. And that is the key issue here, one that certain fashion labels have failed to note.

People who love fashion see it as a means to express themselves, to indicate their demographic via a designer (eg Roberto Cavalli = Eurotrash; Yohji Yamamoto = self-consciously cerebral gallery owner), and to show their individuality. And often all three – despite the contradiction in believing one is being an individual by emphasising the demographic one belongs to.

People who don't like fashion, though, see it as the most extreme expression of vanity. Thus, when they see clothes that are not obviously, or even slightly, flattering, and when they see models whose clavicles protrude further than their breasts, they always say the same thing: "But that's not attractive! I'm not turned on! What's the point? Fashion – it's so crazy!" etc etc.

Now, without wishing to defend the anorexic aesthetic too many editors and designers still favour among their teenage employees, fashion is not actually about sex appeal, as anyone who has ever been to a Comme des Garçons show would know. It's about something more interesting than that.

Sadly, it is not always easy to convince people of this argument, particularly when one is attempting to make it in close proximity to any advert from the likes of Tom Ford.

Ford is an interesting gentleman, one who, despite approaching his 50th birthday, still regards sex with the thigh-rubbing, hyper-excitement of a virginal teenager who has spent too long in his room looking at porn. Here is a man who sees double entendres where there is hardly an entendre, and who once advertised a bottle of men's cologne by photographing it between a woman's bare breasts: "Wear this cologne and soon you'll be nestling in a cleavage, too!" Yes, Tom, we get it. So it was inevitable that when it came time to design adverts for his new shower gel, he would photograph a pair of naked youths, and is now waiting for the cash to roll in – doubtless while lounging at home in a silk gown next to a conveniently naked Scarlett Johansson, who is licking a stick of Tom Ford deodorant.

There is nothing wrong with appreciating sexuality, but the tendency of certain fashion designers to go for the, shall we say, bottom line in their adverts is a bit immature, to say nothing of tragic. Sex, as someone once said, sells, but to reduce fashion to being about the pursuit of a cartoonish version of sex is self-defeating. Ford and his ilk are saying that fashion is only about inspiring desire in others when it should be about giving pleasure to oneself. This not only makes anyone who likes fashion have an even tougher time defending it, but also means Ford will be stuck knocking out molto sexy LBDs to the day he dies, and he will never know the pleasure of making a Comme des Garçonsesque sack-like dress that is hideous but has the most fabulous detailing and is weirdly, inexplicably, fun to wear. Lose lose, Ford.

Can you explain at what point does something cross over from being ugly to cool?

Charlotte, by email

It's simple, Charlotte. Look at your thumb. Do you see the rules on it? You know, the one that says: "The calories you expend going to the fridge equate to the number of calories you ingest from it"? And then there's the one that says: "The time it takes for you to get over him is the time it will take for him to get over you." So many rules of thumb! Well, an oft-overlooked one, just under the bottom ridge, says: "At the point you believe it is safe to hate a style is when that style will become fashionable." This explains the current presence of high-waisted tapered jeans in the window of American Apparel, for example. And partly why American Apparel is in dire financial straits.

It takes a while for people's eyes to readjust, you see. Being cool is easy, Charlotte. But convincing other people to buy into it before your business goes bankrupt? Now that's tough.